I wish a wish (March 2016)

To be able to share the most significant and insignificant incidents or experience in my daily life

And in return not feel silly or stupid

To be able to talk about random topics which may not even involve us

To be able to just be myself

I have succumbed to silence

I am not sure what happened or what did not, but it seems challenging right now. For me at least.

Thank you mother (27 Dec 2015)

To be a mother is not an easy task, yet you do it proudly everyday no matter what is asked.

You were there for me since the very beginning and saved me countless tears.
You were always there to understand all my mistakes
You never put limits on my dreams or anything else I wish to do.
You always shower unconditional love to us and I doubt I can do even half of what you do for my child,

You have given me comfort and certainty with every breath I take within the day.
We always put our disagreements to the side and manage to make it through. 
I know that my teen years have driven you crazy but you have guided me with assurance along the way.

I can never have enough words to thank you for everything you have helped me emotionally and physically. 
I have my whole future ahead of me and you are the women that has led me and guided me towards the proper path.
Thank you, dear mother.

The next station to Motherhood_1 (5 Dec 2015)

There are times when you wish you have your mom by your side instead of your partner
Your mother who puts you and your baby ahead of her own self
Your mother who understands how you will feel being alone
Your mother who doesn't need any explanation or words. She just understands
At times you wonder how you ended up here
Being a mother has made me feel connected to my little one but lonely in my relationship

The Train to Motherhood (5 Dec 2015)

What you need?

1. A strong support system
2. A mother who understands what you need without you explaining a single thing. The person who knows you best
3. A partner who is aware of #2

What you must accept?

1. As much as you want your partner to be there with you every second of this journey, he may not.
2. He may not be what you want him to be
3. He may not utters words you want to hear
4. He may not understand the overwhelming feeling bursting in you as you take on this new role of being a mother
5. He will continue to live his usual life, including 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, party nights, movies, you name it

What is running in your head?

1. Will i manage well without my pillar (mom)
2. Will my partner be able to give me the support i need>
3. Will he understand my needs?
4. Will i get back into shape?
5. Will I be able to breasfeed successfully?
6. Will I be able to cope up being an employee, wife and most of all a MOTHER?

What should you block?

1. Any sort of negative comments from relatives, in-laws, friends or even your own partner.
2. Block it away from taking a step into your system
3. Maintain a strong positive shield around you and your baby

Sometimes, none of the above matter when you look into his eyes and he looks back with a cheeky smile with unconditional love

Transformation (17-Sep-14)

I am not sure what caused these changes. He is calmer, provides all ears to me, giving me the space to voice out what I feel without being judgmental....

I am not sure what caused these changes. The few simple things which matters most in a relationship..
 
I am not sure what caused these changes. I am feeling the warmth of love and acceptance, which in turn makes me feel more devoted to him...

I am not sure what caused these changes. It has been a few weeks (no, im not counting or it will be jinxed)

I am not sure what caused these changes. It gives my heart assurance for a happy future together...

I am not sure what caused these changes. But I am happy it did and I hope it is forever. 

Kids (2-Sep-14)

Kids...a simple word but a whole new purpose to live for in this world. Do you have them to satisfy your need/ want or to stop some parents' agony of waiting to see their grandchild OR to just stop being questioned by every tom, dick & harry who mean nothing in your life?

I am lucky that my partner and I share the same thought on this. Where we both mentally and physically ready to bring a soul into this world who can claim as only ours. A soul who we will nurture and shower unconditional love too. Our own kid(s) ;-)

Memoirs of a happy child (29-Aug-14)

The shrilly whistle of the kettle...

The smell of the warm steamed puttu...

Dogs running around playfully, warmth of cuddling them..

Bitting into the juicy rambutans while enjoying the wind under the tree...

Smelling the freshly mowed green lawn...

The sound of raindrops against the leafy surrounding...

Post-bath cuticura comforting the skin...

Stories of adventures and fantasies while sitting on mutachas lap along with the familiar smell of tobacco..

Pepper and soy sauce seeping through the half boil egg...

Childhood, i must say was the most beautiful adventure I have had. Carefree and eternal bliss it was. Where thoughts, speech, and heart were at its purest. 

Adulthood snatches it all away, opening your eyes to the sinful world you are in. Where the heart is conscious of its surrounding, thoughts influenced by sinful deeds and words expressing the frustration of leaving that beautiful world behind.

We live each day, fighting with ourselves to become strong enough to face the real world. Each day is a struggle, yet we live. And when we breath our last breath, we wonder what was life all about because we become nothing at the end of our journey. I hope to get my answer before that and learn how to appreciate whatever little beauty is left of life....